Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Ready to See the Trainwreck?

Here ya go:


Currently, this video is unlisted as I wanted to check the quality first before making it public.  It seems to be fine.  Feedback is welcome and appreciated.

Monday, December 12, 2011

My Interview on the Dr. Drew show today

Photo: My appearance on the Dr. Drew show tonight.

"Once a Fry Cook, Always a Fry Cook"

I'll explain that in a minute.

First, pedophile defined, as found on wikipedia: As a medical diagnosis, pedophilia (or paedophilia) is defined as a psychiatric disorder in adults or late adolescents (persons age 16 or older) typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children (generally age 13 years or younger, though onset of puberty may vary). The child must be at least five years younger in the case of adolescent pedophiles (16 or older) to be termed pedophilia.

Um, hello? My husband is NOT a pedophile, Dr. Drew.

Today, I was interviewed by Dr. Drew for his show which aired tonight on HLN. I was told by the very nice producer that I would be asked questions about SOSEN, my book, and my feelings about the Sandusky case. Wrong-o! I spent the whole time defending my decision to marry a sex offender. GAH!!!! The interview went horribly wrong. So horribly wrong that it is almost comical.

OK, it IS comical. I am actually laughing.

I was totally and completely ambushed by Dr. Drew who's objective was clearly to sensationalize and belittle women who choose to marry sex offenders. And the worst part was seeing, "THE MAN IN MY LIFE WAS A PEDOPHILE" in a banner above my name during the whole interview. Let me clear this up right now: I did NOT marry a pedophile!!!!

Not only did Dr. Drew call my darling, loving husband of ten wonderful offense-free years a pedophile, Dr. Drew continually interrupted me and wouldn't let me explain my reasons for choosing him as a husband.

The state of Arkansas has NEVER labeled my husband as a pedophile. He is not, nor has he ever been a pedophile. I'd like to add that not all offenders NEED treatment, as suggested by Dr. Drew. Just because a guy makes a mistake one time does not mean he is a predator, pervert or pedophile. My husband went through a lengthy invasive stringent interview and assessment. If the professionals who assessed him felt he needed treatment, then he would have certainly received it. No one has ever suggested he get treatment because no one ever felt he needed it.

I, however, as a child sex abuse victim, DID need treatment in therapy, and I DID receive it. I went to counseling for about 2 or 3 years after the abuse, and it did me a world of good. I KNOW, without a doubt, that I was not "attracted to pedophiles" as Dr. Drew luridly suggested.

My explanation is this: I felt that with my unique experience with child sex abuse, that I would be acutely alert to any inkling of sexual deviant tendencies of any man I brought into my life. Prior to meeting my current husband and during my divorce, I was cautioned by my own father how common it is for men to molest their children, ESPECIALLY if they are step-children. I knew I would have to be extraordinarily cautious about who I brought into my life.

When I met my husband, I did not know he was a sex offender. Once we began to build a relationship and once we saw that there was a potential future together, he told me about his one and only crime that happened in 1996. It was now 2001, I did the math, it had been five years and no offense since then. As he explained to me what happened, I could see that he was completely remorseful and ashamed of what happened. He had learned a very hard lesson in life and had paid his debt to society. He was not on the registry at the time and was not made to register. At that time, he was leading a normal life as a free citizen and a successful contributor to society. I figured, well, it's a low-level crime, after all, the girl was well known in the community as being a sexually active teenage girl and she had wanted to drop the charges. I met her personally and talked with her myself.

Finally, I concluded that my children were actually SAFER with a man who had made a mistake, paid dearly for it and learned his lesson, than they would have been with someone who had never offended who had the potential to offend.  95% of all sex crimes are committed by first offenders - people who are NOT on any list.

Still, I took every precaution I could in preparing to bring this man into my life and into the lives of my children. I even sat them down and told them that if he ever touched them or ever made them uncomfortable in any way, to come and let me know immediately. That never happened.

He has been a very good father to not only my two older children, but also our young daughter. He has also been a very good husband for me. We have been married ten years. It has been 15 years since his offense, his one and ONLY offense.
Studies show that offenders who re offend do so within the first three years.

So at what point do we stop punishing people for what they did one time many, many years before?

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I was once a fry cook. And not just once, either. Multiple times, over and over again for a period of just under a year. Am I still a fry cook? No, that's ridiculous.  I am no more a fry cook than my husband is a pedophile.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Prayer for Eugene

For a couple years now, I have been working our support hotline two days a week.  Last week was a below average kind of week, very few calls and emails, presumably due to the Thanksgiving holiday.  This week, WOW, has it been busy!  I've had more calls today than I have had in one day, ever, I think.

The very last call is by far the most memorable, though.  There was just something about this guy, something that really touched my heart.  I thought I would share a little bit about him with you.

His name is Eugene, a seemingly middle-aged gentleman with a strong Indian accent.  At times, it was difficult to understand him, but as he spoke, there was a peaceful kindness in his voice, absolutely no bitterness or anger or anything.  Currently, he is living in Los Angeles, released from prison just three months ago.  He is forbidden to talk with his wife or family.  He is completely isolated and alone and he is homeless.  He told me he feels like he is still in prison, and I don't doubt that he is...

Sometime during his incarceration, he found God and began leading a Christian life.  He goes to church.  He has a pastor.  He has made some new friends.  He has found a way to get at least one meal daily several days a week.  Four days a week, one church offers $2.00 lunches.  Another church offers a free lunch three days a week.  Another offers a free meal on Sunday nights.

Eugene joined a senior center and enrolled in free yoga or tai chi classes as well as a free computer class.  He says he has the time since he doesn't have a job.  He is trying so very hard to be compliant with his restrictions and he is terrified of accidently violating his parole and upon purchasing a cell phone today, called his parole officer immediately to give him his phone number.  The second call he made was to our support hotline.

When he asked his pastor where he could park his car overnight without getting into trouble, the pastor advised him to park it at a 24-hour fitness center.  Eugene wanted to be sure there would be no trouble, so as insurance, he purchased a membership so that if asked by police, he would have a legitimate reason for being there.  He waits until the wee hours of the night or morning before entering the building to take a shower.  He sleeps in his vehicle.  He bought a sunshade for his windshield so that it wouldn't get too hot in his car.  He mentioned experiencing leg cramps while trying to sleep at night and I suggested he get some bananas, not knowing if he could afford them.  I did not ask him where what little money he has had came from.

Through all of this, his attitude has remained positive and spiritually he is at peace.  He shared me with how he has suffered moments of depression and despair and has even thought of suicide, but he has searched his heart and soul and feels that God has a better purpose for him.

I feel it, too.  And, I am not a particularly religious person.

Eugene seemed so grateful to just be talking with me on the phone.  He repeatedly thanked me and expressed his appreciation.  I felt like I was doing nothing, just sitting on the phone and listening, but then I realized if I were all alone with no one to talk to and I found myself with an understanding ear on the other end of the line, I would be grateful too.

I gave Eugene some contact info for some people in California and suggested he attend the next RSOL meeting in L.A. this Saturday.  I hope he goes.  I feel that if he does, he can make more connections with people, something he really needs.  I truly got the sense that more than anything in the world, this man needs compassion and understanding from his fellow man.  He asked me to pray for him, and I assured him I would.

And then I did something I have never done with any hotline caller.  I asked him if I could call him back in a week to see how he's doing.  He seemed delighted by my request.  So, next Wednesday, I plan to give Eugene a call.  Perhaps he'll have some good news to share with me that I can share with you.

Please pray for Eugene!

Monday, October 10, 2011

ATAT "It Could Be You" First Broadcast this Wednesday!

This coming Wednesday (October 12) will be Arkansas Time After Time's first airing of their radio show, "It Could Be You". The show will begin at 12:00 noon central time and run for an hour. This week's featured guest will be yours truly and I will be talking about my book and my involvment with ATAT and SOSEN.

You can listen to the broadcast online at http://www.kabf.us/. We will be taking callers and we encourage anyone who wants to ask a question or comment on the show to call in.

Monday, September 26, 2011

SOSEN and SOS - NOT the same organization!

Hello all, figured it was time for an update...

My apologies for being so intermittent with my posts here but rest assured, I am still fighting the good fight and still working diligently towards sex offender legislation reform, at least from my chair.

At SOSEN, I have been very busy with updating all of the brochures to reflect the new change of address, participating more on the member forum, working the hotline two days a week, and trying to get the next newsletter out, which I'm still working on. All the while, being a Mom and a wife and maintaining my graphic design duties. Just finished a really big issue for an online magazine and I have more projects awaiting my immediate attention. You'd think Life on the Mountain would be all serene watching deer and squirrels at play, but sadly, lately, I've barely stepped foot outside.

Oh, and I almost forgot: I've been planning my daughter's wedding, too! She is getting married here on the mountain next month and there is still a ton of planning to do...

I'm not complaining, I like being busy, but I am finally learning the limits of what I am able to do. Recently, I've even declined to take on more responsibilities which is just as foreign to me as trying to speak Japanese.

Still, last week, when my good friend and fellow ATAT (Arkansas Time After Time) representative Carla, asked me to accompany her to Fort Smith to attend a community meeting at the Fort Smith police department for a presentation on sex offenders. I thought, oooh, that sounds like fun and I dropped everything to go. In attendance were maybe eight people. Not a huge crowd by any means, but Fort Smith Detective Michael McCoy gave a thorough presentation and invited the audience to participate. We brought our materials from ATAT and were given many opportunities to bring to light the problems with current laws and how they affect offenders and their families. One woman was there because her friend was currently incarcerated for an internet crime and told how it was a clear case of entrapment.

At one point, the detective was talking about residency restrictions and came right out and said they don't work! We were thrilled to hear that he felt that way.

Overall, I think we did great work there and handed out our brochures. Channel 5 news were there and interviewed me. Here, you can see a very short piece of the interview in this link:


I really didn't like the way they took my statement out of context as I had been talking about anti-sex offenders and the way my statement is portrayed, it sounds like I am talking about sex offenders. Oh well. I've learned a lesson there. Note to self: Don't use the word "wolves" when referring to people who hate sex offenders. Even Detective McCoy was portrayed as someone who hates sex offenders, but he wasn't like that at all. They completely took his statements out of context as well.

I was really happy with the way they featured Arkansas Time After Time in the news story, though, so that's something.

Yesterday, I learned how Barbara Farris has decided to try yet another business venture and start up an organization called Sex Offender Solutions (SOS). Of course, for a $45 fee, this smacks of a scam, but she promises to find housing for sex offenders -- people we all know she flat out hates. Of course, all any sex offender has to do is use another service in the same area provided by Randy Young and he won't ship you off to some remote camp in the middle of nowhere. His housing solutions are real solutions.


A reporter from Fox Channel 35 contacted us through our hotline yesterday seeking Ms. Farris' contact info, clearly contacting the wrong organization. I immediately returned his call and reached his voicemail. I left a message just saying who I was and who I was with and left my phone number. Since he did not call me back and this news story appeared today, I took that to mean that he was able to get the contact information he was seeking.


Still, I took it upon myself to email the reporter anyway. I shared numerous YouTube videos on Ms. Farris, included a bullet point list of her colorful history and invited the reporter to check out SOSEN.org and our materials and also the library of articles about her on http://absolutezerounites.blogspot.com/. I encouraged the reporter to call me back, but frankly, I am not holding my breath. We shall see. Some of the news media is starting to catch on that the typical "grab your torches and pitchfork" type articles against sex offenders are increasingly waning in ratings in favor of the real truths about the ridiculousness of the laws, how they don't work and how much money is being spent to implement them. I am hopeful that Fox 35 will see the veritable gold mind they could have just by reporting the facts about the laws, SOSEN and SOS and the lovely Ms. Farris.

Stay tuned.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The RSOL Conference - St. Louis, MO

I have been home for a few days after my trip to Saint Louis for the RSOL (Reform Sex Offender Laws) Conference there this last weekend. I confess, being of sound mind and 48-year-old body, I needed a few days to recover after such a tremendously incredible experience. Once I was home, I totally crashed, and hard. My brain was (and still is) on information overload. Big time.
Words cannot describe the feelings I was having all during and after the conference. If you ever find yourself singled out in a world of inequality and discrimination and then attend an event such as this where you meet 120 or so like-minded souls who are in the same boat, then you'll know just what I am talking about. It is an amazing experience to say the least.

Originally, I planned to drive my van with a group of 4 or 5 people but then a flying box spring that came off a dump truck last week thwarted my plans by smashing in my driver side window, severing the side view mirror from the vehicle and crumpling my left front fender. (Fortunately, my daughter and I survived the incident with only a few minor scratches.)

Plans were changed and I went from driver to passenger in my friend, Lora's, car. Both Lora and her hubby went, and we had a nice drive up, even taking the time out for a short break shopping at Chico's in Springfield. (Lora's hubby was a good sport!) My other friends from Arkansas Time After Time (ATAT) took alternative modes of transportation.

We arrived Friday evening, just in time for the opening of the registration. On the way down to the ground floor, I met my good friend and SOSEN staff member, "Mouse". We put some materials on the resource table they reserved for SOSEN. My Arkansas group set up their ATAT table as well, which was VERY well represented. I was very proud to be an Arkansan!

After the welcome and announcements from RSOL , there was a wonderful organizer's panel discussion on Successful Strategies for State Organization Building that included a question and answer session with the audience, followed by a presentation from the RSOL Admin Team on their new vision for RSOL, which also included a question and answer session.

Once the evening's program was ended, SOSEN staff members and I gathered together in the lounge to have what we called a "sticker party". We had over 200 10-page packets that had been Mary Duval's last work and I had printed and cut up about 1,000 or so stickers to cover up areas where the old P.O. Box and phone numbers needed to be replaced with SOSEN's new address and hotline number. With such great teamwork, we got the job done within a couple of hours. In the morning, we would be able to put the packets out with the rest of the SOSEN materials.

Saturday, Amy Borror, Legislative Liaison for the Ohio Public Defender's Office started off the day with a powerful address on where we are today with Ohio's compliance with SORNA, clearly showing where all the problems lay with the system and why it is so flawed. Following that were a choice of three workshops.

My Arkansas group (ATAT) and I split up so we could take part in the different workshops and I attended the one on Team Development, which was really very good. The workshop gave me lots of useful tools for developing and implementing projects that I can use both with SOSEN and ATAT.

After lunch, there was a beautiful tribute to Mary Duval followed by a welcome to me as the new CEO of SOSEN, for which I gave a short speech. I was incredibly nervous, by hey, years ago I gave a short speech in front of large room full of people including the Arkansas Governor and if I can do THAT, I knew I could do this. After my speech, I also introduced Carl P., of SOSEN Florida, and he gave a short speech as well.

I'd have to say the highlight of the day, though, would have to be the presentation by David Day, Missouri State Representative on Building Relationships with Your Elected Officials, and I'm sure everyone in the audience appreciated his candid approach to all of the political topics that were talked about, and some of things he said were VERY eye-opening.

Saturday afternoon, there were three more workshops and again my Arkansas group and I split up. I took in the one called Building a Coalition - Networking with Like-Minded Organizations. Another great workshop! I have so many ideas now!

After the workshop, I met with one the leaders of the newly formed organization, Women Against Registry. He talked at length with me about the organization, showed me the layout of the directors and illustrated to me how valuable this organization can be because it puts the focus on the families of offenders instead of the offenders themselves. I believe it will be much easier to publicly support, and I am excited about it.

I went to dinner with the ATAT group and after that, attended more the conference before attending a reception between the RSOL coordinators and the SOSEN staff. It was really great to really sit down and talk with each other about connecting the dots and building bridges with each other's organizations. I was so impressed with such a dynamic group, and felt proud to be part of it all. I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

Sunday morning, I attended one more workshop while my friends attended the other two, and finally Tim Russo, the first American with a sexual felony to run for office gave an inspiring talk on "Reclaiming Dignity on the Campaign Trail" and left us all with a serious can-do attitude. It was so refreshing and inspiring to hear Mr. Russo's story, and it was a great way to end the conference.

I understand there will be a DVD available within a couple weeks and I highly recommend purchasing one whether or not you attended the conference. I know I will buy one! Please visit http://www.reformsexoffenderlaws.org/ for more information.

Next year's conference will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico, September 7 - 10. I've already marked my calendar. Be sure to mark yours, too!

Monday, July 18, 2011

What's in a name, anyway?

Hi all,

Today I received this comment from Dakota0526 and although I cannot publish the comment as is since the person used my real name, I did want to publish the post, so I am putting it here below, with my name XXX'd out:

Hi XXX, I have to ask; Why don't you go by your real name? I already know it, and your husband's case, along with a few other things, but I don't understand why you wouldn't want everyone else to also know it. I personally have a tough time taking seriously someone who seems afraid to be honest. Something to hide? Something else you don't want people to know? With utmost respect for SOSEN, I can't support you until you come clean. As an author and an advocate for falsely accused people, I dig and research any and all issues. This may not be popular with some folks, but the reason I'm an RSO is because of sheer and utter dishonesty. Lying and dishonesty have made my life very difficult, and I just don't feel like I can trust you unless you're totally honest.

Shaun Webb, author A Motion for Innocence...And Justice for All? and Black Jacks (Volume One)

My initial reaction was one of anger and shock.  I found it astounding that I even needed to explain why I used an alias.  Uh, hello, because I have a CHILD?  Because I want to keep her safe from harm?  We all know that vigilante justice is a very real threat in today's society and children of registered sex offenders get bullied on an ongoing basis.  So far, we have been successful in protecting our daughter, and I happen to believe it is because I have taken these precautions.

I don't know what Dakota0526 AKA Mr. Webb's intentions were in digging for my true identity and the specifics of my husband's case, but if he has done his homework as thoroughly as he suggests, then he has found that I have absolutely nothing to hide except for my identity.  That's it.  Nuttin' else.  If Dakota0526 AKA Mr. Webb chooses to point a finger at me and declare me dishonest then all I can say is, as a good friend would say, "Whenever you point a finger at someone, three more are pointing back at yourself".

I have read Dakota0526 AKA Mr. Webb's book, A Motion for Innocence, and since he does not actually prove his innocence in the text of his book, I took him at his word, which is what he asks the reader to do.  For this reason, I am even more surprised by this post of his.  I mean, c'mon, aren't we in the same fight?  Wouldn't a better use of his time would have been to write letters to legislators instead of searching for my true identity and  harassing me because I didn't use my real name?

If Mr. Webb is so hung up on why I am using an alias, then why does he go by the name "Dakota0526"?  What's that for?

Whatever.  I'm gonna go watch TV now...

Dawnings of New Horizons

Hello all,

As I settle into my new role as the new CEO of SOSEN and learn my way around, I am simultaneously finding myself becoming more involved with a more localized group, the RSOL (Reform Sex Offender Laws) group for Arkansas called Arkansas Time after Time, (ATAT).  This group encompasses my good friend Robert, whom I have written about before, my good friend Carla, a mom to a sex offender, my good friend Christine, another mom, and several other people.  To be totally honest, I am genuinely amazed at this dynamic group.  Here in the US, I know of just two strong RSOL groups, Illinois Voices and Texas Voices and I am quickly coming to the conclusion that we are fast becoming the third strongest state group out there.

I cannot get past the notion, the feeling, really, that God brought me to Arkansas not only to meet, fall in love with and marry the man of my dreams, but to also become part of something really big right here in this state.

People have asked me what I want for SOSEN, and really, number one, I want to carry on Mary's vision of abolishing the public sex offender registry.  Some people find this stance alarming at first, but then I remind them that I am talking about the PUBLIC registry--not the registry completely.  I feel that if there must be a registry that it must be confined to the hands of law enforcement so that they can do their job better without perverted-justice seeking vigilantes getting in their way and mucking up the mess.  I see nothing wrong with law enforcement monitoring those that need it.

Another thing I feel is so vitally important to establish and implement changes to the sex offender laws in this country is to get out there and get physically involved.  We at SOSEN, RSOL and other such sites have quite a large number of people spending precious many hours of their time posting and spreading the word online and that is SUCH a valuable and important step towards reform, but we also need people willing to get out there and show their faces, pound their fists and stand up for their rights in their own respective states.  Of course, I feel, that if I want this to happen, I have to set an example, which is another reason I have become so involved with Arkansas Time After Time, (ATAT).

ATAT has been working toward obtaining a weekly radio show on a Little Rock radio station.  We are in the progress of taking tutorials to run the program and we anticipate the first episode to air possibly sometime in August, after the upcoming RSOL conference in St. Louis.

The show will be called, "This Could Be You" and will feature interviews with people affected by these laws and professionals in law enforcement, lawyers and therapists.  My good friend Robert will be the initial guest host and it looks like I will be featured as the first guest.  The station broadcasts online and anyone using the net will be able to access it and listen to it.  This is a huge project for ATAT and we are very excited about it.

Now, not to put you on the spot, dear Reader, but I ask you, what can YOU do in YOUR state?  If you are worried for your family's safety, then may I suggest you assume an identity and wear wigs, sunglasses, hats, Hawaiian shirts, whatever you can to make your appearance different than your own (just no trench coats, OK?)

Hey, you think Lynn Gilmore is my real name?  Hah!

We at SOSEN keep and maintain a list of RSOL representatives in each state and if you are interested in getting involved, then hey, drop me an email and I'll get you in contact with someone who can get you started.  If you are "too busy" then all I can say is you aren't dedicated enough, plain and simple.  I have absolutely not one minute of spare time to work on this, as my husband will tell you, and yet here I am.  Somehow, if you are determined enough, you WILL find the time.

Yesterday, I attended an ATAT meeting at the Little Rock public library and came away feel very energized and empowered.  It's a very exhilarating experience to meet other like-minded souls who are caught up in this mess and it can be very therapeutic.  One woman who attended even admitted to not having "a dog in this fight", meaning she herself was in no way affected by the laws but wanted to learn more and see what she could do to help.  We found her input extremely valuable and she had many questions for us.  I gave her a copy of my book to hopefully help shed some light on some of the questions she had.  We need more people like her, we all do.  Those of us connected to a sex offender who complain about the laws are seen as "whiners", but the simple fact is that lawmakers will take people like this woman with no dog in this fight, more seriously.

Some time ago, Robert donated a copy of my book to the Little Rock library.  While we we there, he checked on it using one of the library computers and proudly told me that it was currently checked out AND was already reserved for the next reader.  Wow!  I was so surprised and delighted about that.  I think I might call the library to see if they need another copy.

This morning, I was even thinking about donating additional copies to more libraries, so here's an offer to you, Reader.  The first ten people to email me the name and address of their local library will receive one copy of my book for their library.  I can include the name of the person who requested the donation, if you so desire.

Before I go, I just wanted to post one more thing.  Earlier this week, I posted the new SOSEN Newsletter and if you'd like to read it, visit:  http://issuu.com/sosen/docs/v6i3color

This is a special edition dedicated to my great friend Mary, whom I personally consider our own version of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Mary will always be remembered as the pioneer who paved the way for us to change the sex offender laws and change the way America thinks about sex offenders.

 God Bless you, Mary Duval...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Remembering Mary Duval

Hello all,

I just returned from a week-long trip out of state visiting family and exhbibiting at an fine art show.  I had limited time for the computer so I was basically off-line for the duration.  Before I left, I learned that Mary Duval had slipped into a coma in a hospital in California where she had been hospitalized for several weeks due to complications of her cancer treatments.

On Saturday, June 18, Mary passed away.

I am completely devastated over this and am worried for Mary's family.  There has been a bank account set up for her family to cover funeral costs and I just sent in a donation via Paypal.  I urge you to do the same.  Visit the http://www.sosen.org/ website and click on the donate button for Paypal on the right side of the page.  You can specify that the donation is for Mary's family.

You can also mail a check to:

Deloris Logan

765 Mesa View Drive
Space 24
Arroyo Grande, Ca.  93240

Mary was an incredible woman and I am SOOOOO glad I got a chance to meet her a few months ago, on St. Patrick's Day.  I feel so fortunate that I seized that particular opportunity to meet her, even though I had a very full plate that day, I remember.  I dropped everything and off I went and spent a couple hours visiting with her and her little doggies.  Of course, I had no way of knowing I would never see her again, and I will never forget that day.

I have been on staff with SOSEN for the last few years and have been producing the quarterly newsletter for about a year and a half now.  Mary always helped with the newsletters, so I will miss that, but as with anything else, we must move on.  SOSEN will move on, too.  I was nominated to serve as the new CEO of SOSEN and I am very honored to accept that nomination.  We'll give it six months and see how it goes.  It may become permanent if it all goes well.  To be honest, I hope it does.  I have never been a leader of anything, but I feel ready for this.  SOSEN is a part of me now, as much as a part of me as my right arm or my left leg.  Although I have huge shoes to fill, I will do my darnedest to do my part.  It is very important to me and I take this very seriously.

But for now, for today, I have to get ready for our five day "friends and family camping trip", which we leave for tomorrow.  We always go camping every summer  on the Buffalo River and my brother-in-law, known as "Luke" in my book, always camped with us.  This year our group will be larger than usual as many friends and family are joining us to celebrate in Luke's memory.  Everyone attending knows about my book, my life as "Lynn Gilmore" and my involvement with SOSEN.  All of them are supportive and have been encouraging to me.  This year, not only will we be celebrating in Luke's memory, but I will be adding Mary to that memorial as well.

Upon my return, I will have a lot to do.  I have an order to fill (from the art show I just did), some graphic design projects to do, the next newsletter to start on, and above all, start working as CEO of SOSEN.  I hope I can do a good job.  I am doing this for the family of SOSEN.  I am doing this for my own family and I am doing this for Mary.

I will always remember Mary and what she has done for all registered sex offenders.  She was an amazing woman and a very good friend.  She will be sorely missed.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A Meeting of the Minds...

On Wednesday of this week, I attended a meeting near Clinton, Arkansas.  The meeting was attended by my good friend Robert and three nice ladies.  All of us are connected by a common thread--we are each affected by the sex offender laws.

If you are affected by these laws and haven't had a chance yet to meet anyone else in your situation, then I would highly recommend it.  It is very therapeutic to be able to talk openly about the problems you face and brainstorm ideas on how to make it better.

After the meeting I was so tempted to write up letters and mail them to offenders in my area to maybe see about starting up a group here.  While Clinton is not THAT far to drive, it certainly is not in my "neck of the woods".  I had to really consider the expense in gas making the four and a half hour round trip drive.

Life on the Mountain being what it is and all, I have not had time to compose such letters and even if I did, how many would really be interested?  One of the many problems this movement faces is the fact that most registered sex offenders are too embarrassed or too fearful of vigilantism to get out and show their faces and step into the spotlight.  And, let's not forget that for many, it is against the law to socialize with other felons.  THAT is perhaps the biggest problem of all.

There is no law (as of yet) that forbids ME or other family members from socializing with each other or their sex offenders, so I urge those of you who are collaterally affected by these laws to get out there and meet others in your situation.

One good place to start would be the RSOL (Reform Sex Offender Laws) Conference in St. Louis, MO, August 12th - 14th.  Here's a link:  https://sites.google.com/site/rsolnationalconference/

Almost all of us from the Clinton meeting are attending and I am greatly looking forward to it.  There are going to be some great workshops and I hope to learn many new ways to interract with lawmakers.  I have also inquired about doing a book signing--why not?

It is a very inexpensive conference to attend and the hotel accommodations can be split between you and a roommate.  Carpool and you'll save even more money!  :)

At the meeting, Robert passed out a copy of "If" by Rudyard Kipling that I thought I might share with you all here...  Robert said the poem gave him a lot of strength and courage while he was incarcerated:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Great Review! Yay!

Today I found out about two great things:

1) My book is now available for Kindle on Amazon, for $9.99.  This is great!  I was wondering how to put up a version for Kindle, and my publisher went and did it for me.   I have such a wonderful publisher!

2) I found this really GREAT review of my book:


This is clearly written by someone who is NOT a registered sex offender or is NOT a family member of a registered sex offender.  This is just what I have been waiting for.  Most of the reviews on Amazon have, admittedly, been made by people who were familiar with how the sex offender laws affect offenders and their families already before reading my book.  It is not hard to convince those who have already been convinced.

My goal with the book has always been to educate readers who know nothing about how ineffective the sex offender laws are and show them why they should change their views on the subject.  It seems I have managed to accomplish that goal with this reviewer -- and if I can do that with one person, I can do that with many.

I get emails every week from readers thanking me for standing up and getting my story out there, and I am grateful to them for sharing their feelings with me but I gotta say:  Getting that review REALLY convinced me that I absolutely did the right thing, without a shadow of a doubt.

This whole experience has been like nothing I've ever experienced before, and telling my story has been so incredibly rewarding....  Wow.... just... WOW!

Thank you, Marissa Libbit, for your terrific review...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

SOSEN Spring 2011 Newsletter

Today I finally finished up the SOSEN Spring 2011 newsletter and it is available for download.  My good friends at Sex Offender Issues put it up on their blog so that even if you don't have a SOSEN forum membership, you can still download it.  Boy, are those guys terrific!


Now that the newsletter is done, I have to start working on another big project working on a magazine.  I won't say what magazine because it's non-sex-offender related and if I say what, then you'll know who.  It would be too easy to find the "real me".  Oh no, can't have that!

My last post here was just before I was leaving for Florida and I was shipping out eight copies of my book to Arkansas legislators.  Vacation went well - very well, actually - and when I returned, I heard that the HB1408 bill did NOT pass.  I'm not sure if my involvement had anything at all to do with the bill not passing, but I'd like to think it helped.  Not one of the legislators has bothered to email me to let me know they received the book or if they liked it or if they hated it or if they drove their truck over it.  That's OK, I don't need to know...

Since my return, I have been busy with a multitude of projects, the least of which has been promoting my book which I confess I have failed at miserably these last several weeks, and as such, the book has slipped into a black hole of ratings on Amazon.  I know it's time I pulled it up by the bootstraps and gave it a dusting off to see if I can rejuvenate it again...

I did get accepted into not one, but two, big arts and crafts shows this summer, much to my surprise.  In previous years I have been rejected time and again - not because my work wasn't good enough - but because my jury slides weren't good enough.  Last year I made it my mission to revamp my booth and my photos and whah-lah!  It worked like a charm.  As a result of this fine good news, I've had to put more focus into creating more inventory of my art.  Yay.

Other than that, yard work and spring cleaning have eaten up whatever remaining time I had left and *poof* a month went by without so much as a whimper from me here...

Such is life.

Before I go, I did want to mention a fantastic blog I discovered a few days ago.  Check this guy out:

What a well-written and entertaining blog!  Wow!  I just love it!

Oh!  And I did meet Mary.  She's a real firecracker, that one!  She has more chutzpah than just about anyone I know.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Eight is Enough

Well, my one last shot came and went.  I attended the senate juidiciary committee meeting this morning, accompanied by my good friend Robert... and later, Biker Bob, and we waited--and waded--through what was an unsually boring session.  Bills were presented, argued, pulled or passed without much fanfare.  Maybe it wasn't so much really boring as it was that I just wasn't all that interested in it, although, I will say that Senator Flowers is a very outspoken and very common sensical person.  She can cast a lightly humorous spin on something and yet she presents herself and her views very candidly, accurately and openly.  In the times that I have attended these sessions, I've heard her speak against several bills and every time she has impressed me with her knowledge and approach.

HB1408 was NOT presented and not passed today.  I can't say that I'm all that surprised.  I am beginning to understand how the system works and I'm not certain, but I have a feeling I know why it wasn't presented today.  There were only five members of the committee present and when a bill is voted on, there must be five votes in favor of it.  That means that every member present would have to vote yes to pass a bill.

At one point and time today, a bill was presented that Senator Flowers expressed her opinion that the bill should not be passed.  When it came time for a vote, she matter-of-factly looked at the chairperson and said something to the effect of "why bother?  I'm not going to vote for it, so it's not going to pass."  It was comical really, because the chairperson still wanted to have the vote.  Of course, the bill was rejected and we moved on.

It occurred to me that the presenter of HB1408 would have been foolish to present the bill today, because it seems likely that Senator Flowers would have shot it down -- or at least Robert, Bob and I would hope so--and the bill would surely have failed.  Once I realized that, I realized there was really no point in my sticking around for the afternoon session, so I left.

Due to prior engagements, it will be April 4 before I can attend another session.  Concerned that I would miss out on an opportunity to speak against this bill, I decided to send a letter (by mail) to each of the eight senators, along with educational material from SOSEN and a free copy of my book.  I don't know if any of them would like a copy of my book, but they're getting one anyway...

I am shipping out all eight books tomorrow.  If YOU happen to be one of those lucky senators, keep an eye out for your mail delivery person.  Surprise!  Hope you like it...

I don't even want to think about the cost of eight books plus shipping, but my good friend Robert was very gracious and generously gave me $60 to cover some of the expenses.  That was very kind of him to do that...  Thank you, Robert...

I could be depressed about the fact that I made an umpteen number of trips back and forth to Little Rock for the past couple months --all for nothing, but I'm not.  I am simply moving on...  Oh, if I come back on April 4 and find that the bill is still not presented, I'll pick up where I left off, I'm sure...  But, I'd be surprised if the bill lasted that long...

Meanwhile, I do have some good news:  I am going to be meeting with my good friend Mary Duval tomorrow morning for the first time.  I wrote about Mary in my book; about her family's struggles with her teenage son's conviction and subsequent endless punishments...  I can't believe we haven't met before now, but we'll just happen to be in the same towm at the same time tomorrow, and I couldn't pass up the chance to meet her.

Mary's my hero, ya know!

I love ya, girl!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

One Last Shot

HB1408 has STILL not yet been presented before the Arkansas Senate Judiciary Committee.  Meanwhile, the agenda continues to grow and grow.  The agenda for tomorrow's session has 86 bills waiting to be presented and nine of them are targeting sex offenders.  Some of the other bills other than HB1408 have already been presented and passed.  To my knowledge, not one bill targeting sex offenders has been presented and has been rejected.

Tomorrow is my last ditch effort to speak out agains the bill before April 4.  If they present it between next Monday and the 4th of April, I will not be present to speak out against it, and neither will my good friend Robert.  I'm afraid that this bill may be passed without someone there on the behalf of sex offenders and their families to speak out against it.  Robert and I are both traveling to different states in the next two weeks.  I am taking the kids to Florida to visit my family (once again sans husband due to Florida's exceptionally strict registration requirements...) and Robert is going to visit family in Oklahoma.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the HB1408 bill gets presented TOMORROW.  My toes, too.

It is hard to be a lone figure in the fight against the sex offender laws in Arkansas.  Actually, I'm not alone, thank goodness there's Robert and another fellow, "Biker Bob".  Biker Bob is a really nice guy, very likeable and much more outgoing than my little meek self.  He, like Robert, is not afraid to approach lawmakers and other visitors to the Capitol while I still can't seem to crack out of my shell.  I'll get there though...  Let me tell you ~ I've come a loooooong way in overcoming my fear of speaking (I'm still afraid) and my shyness (I'm still shy) and I'm a lot better than I used to be.  Still have far to go, though...  I'm no Robert or Biker Bob....

But, boy, can I write!  :)  Not afraid to do that, at all.  I don't care if I write well or not.  I don't use big words.  I just find that writing is an excellent way to express myself and I am just grateful to at least be able to put a few thoughts into sentences and paragraphs.  Oh, but I digress... sorry...

It is hard, though, like I said, to stand alone ~ we three ~ and speak out against these laws.  I so wish that there could be a group that could stand up in the halls of justice and demand that these laws be changed.  I know, that there must be hundreds if not thousands of Arkansans who want the laws to change, but they are too afraid to get out there and show their faces.  I don't blame them.  It is hard enough for me, and I hide behind a fake name and under a wig.

Maybe someday.... someday we can stand up for our rights and protest with picket signs outside the capitol building.  The time is coming, you will see.  The question is, do you want it to come sooner or do you want it to come later?  If you're tired of the way these laws affect you and your loved ones' lives, then it's time.  Put aside your fears, don your wigs and create a fake identity for yourself and join us!  Whatever you have to do to get your voices heard, do it!  Don't wait until it's too late.  We need you, now...

We sooooo need you... now....

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Back to the Capitol AGAIN

Tomorrow, I will once again travel the roughly 240 miles round trip to the state capitol building to once again attend the Senate Judiciary Committee's meeting.  This will be the third time I have attended their meeting in hopes that the HB1408 bill would be presented, along with many other bills targeting sex offenders on the agenda.

For the past two sessions, the representatives who would be presenting these bills were not in attendance and therefore the bills could not be presented.  I noticed, both times, that there were many people in the audience that were from law offices, various sheriff's offices and representatives from the ACIC.  It astounds me that the representatives who obviously felt it was important enough to draft up these bills just couldn't find the time to be there when it came time to present them.  Perhaps they are aware that so many people wish to speak against these bills and maybe they're hoping that if they keep missing the meetings, that people will lose interest themselves and stop coming.  I don't know.  That is merely speculation on my part and I'm not accusing anyone of anything.  These are simply my own personal observations and admittedly, I am learning as I go, how things operate at the capitol building.

Yesterday, upon leaving the capitol building after the senate judiciary committee meeting was adjourned without much accomplished, I was walking behind two of the legislators who were busily patting each other on the back, congratulating each other on a "good day" at the capitol and all I wanted to do was run up and smack them across the face. Of course, I didn't, but I wanted to.

Truthfully, if this is how things are done in our country's legislative sessions, I am totally embarrassed on behalf of the U.S. No WONDER I've never wanted to involve myself in politics, I guess I always inherently knew that our legal system was pretty much corrupt and basically a joke. As a child, I grew up listening to my folks' sordid portrayal of our judicial system. They knew, even back then, how incompetently things were done.

Anyway, as I look over the ever-growing senate judiciary committee agenda, I see more and more bills being added on a daily basis. Now we have:


There are a grand total of 69 bills awaiting presentation on tomorrow's agenda, with two set as deferred bills. I'll actually be surprised if they present even just five of them tomorrow.

So, my car is gassed up... again. Each trip to Little Rock costs me roughly $50 in gas, and that doesn't include lunch (or in yesterday's case, dinner, too). I am not made of money. If I don't get paid for my next freelance job soon, I'll have to quit going and believe me when I tell you: I don't wanna quit going.

I need to stand up and speak up against HB1408. If not for me, my husband, and all the other registered sex offenders out there, but for the sake of my daughter.

'Nuff said.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Back to the Capitol

Bill HB1408 is on the agenda for the Senate Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, and I plan to be there to speak out against this awful bill. Please, anyone interested in joining me, if you're in the area, c'mon down! We need as many people as possible to show the represenatives just how bad this law is!

Stand up and fight! This bill, like many others against sex offenders, target our constitutional rights!!! If we don't stop this ~ it won't end with just sex offenders, I assure you!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

An Intimite Perspective

Yesterday, I was forwarded an email from Dr. Lisa Anne Zilney, Ph. D, an Associate Professor in the Department of Justice Studies at Montclair State University in New Jersey.

Dr. Zilney is currently seeking women who are in intimiate relationships with registered sex offenders. She is going to be conducting a study of their experiences while facing a variety of challenges from the criminal justice system to how society treats the sexual offender and those who associate closely with him once he is released from incarceration. The interviews will be entirely confidential to protect the identities of the participants.

If you would like to participate in the study, or for more info, pleave visit: http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/2011/02/call-for-women-in-intimate.html

I have to admit, I am delightfully surprised that anyone would want to do a study like this, and I appreciate Dr. Zilney's interest greatly. While I do see a LOT of mothers out there advocating for reform of sex offender laws on behalf of their young sons, I see very few wives, fiances and girlfriends stepping up to the plate. Perhaps they are embarrassed. Perhaps the crime occurred while they were in the relationship with their sex offending partner. Perhaps they have a family to protect from vigilantism. Whatever their reasons, there are very few who do speak out and I only did under the umbrella of using a fake name.

It is scary business, and while Romeo and Juliet amendments are being tossed around in legislative sessions all around the country right now, which is great news for all the moms out there; what about the wives, fiances, and girlfriends? Who will listen to them?

A good friend of mine emailed me saying that he was receiving many concerns that Dr. Zilney's study will exclude moms, sisters and daughters. I can totally understand those concerns, but as I said in my response:

Well, frankly, I can appreciate Dr. Zilney's interest in wives, fiances and girlfriends. After all, a mother of a sex offender has no choice but to be the offender's mother. But, wives/finaces/girlfriends, they have a choice to be with their offender! And, some at the risk of losing their friends, being ostricized by family, and facing public humiliation and vigilantism. This speaks volumes in regards to how supportive they are when they know - better than anyone - if the offender will ever reoffend. Most wives, fiances or girlfriends would never stay with someone that they considered a danger or a threat to anyone. This is why I was SOOOOO surprised that the ACIC (Arkansas Crime Information Center) never asked ME about my husband, what kind of man he is as a person. No one has the kind of insight into another person better than a spouse. I would think having access to wives, fiances, and girlfriends would be a VERY valuable tool in determining one's level of risk. The fact that they're not using such a valuable resource only shows that their assessments are incomplete and likely inaccurate. They also don't bother to speak with any children living in the home, and I found this astounding! The ACIC makes no effort whatsover to "get to know" the offenders they assess. I personally consider their assessment techniques a big waste of time and consider it a joke.

A mother will likely stand by their sex offender son, REGARDLESS of what kind of person the offender is, from peeping tom to murderer. Very few ever turn their backs on their son. But, if offenders were truly a pervert/pedophile/predator and a risk to society, then I imagine most, if not all, wives/fiances/girlfriends would run for the hills.

I genuinely appreciate Dr. Zilney's interest and I have sent her an email. I do hope she contacts me, because I have a lot to say...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My First Visit to the Capitol

Wow, what a day yesterday!

I went to Little Rock and appeared before the house committee to speak against the HB1408 bill targeting level 2 sex offenders. I was accompanied by my daughter, "Charlotte" and my new good friend Robert Combs, of Arkansas Time After Time, the Arkansas Reform Sex Offender Laws group. To our surprise, there were MANY people speaking against this bill, AND not one person spoke in favor of the bill. BUT, still, the house committee passed it.

Makes one go WTF?

Actually, the outcome did not surprise me at all. Not after all my family and I have been through fighting the system before, when there was a stack of evidence supporting our case and not one piece supporting the other side and the judge ruled in their favor anyway. We know fighting these laws is a monumental task as lawmakers are elected into their positions and they don't want to lose votes by appearing to be "soft on sex offenders".

Both Robert and I were given the chance to give our "testimony", which is what they call it when you are a "witness" that signed up to speak for or against a bill. I found it odd that they use church terminology in the capitol building, but I was very grateful for the opportunity to speak. Robert gave his testimony first and then it was my turn. At first, I told my story; a brief description of my family and what we're going through and how this new bill would affect our lives.

When I finished that part, I asked if I had more time, and the Chairman was very gracious and said, "Please, go on", so I continued all the way through every one of my notecards until I was finished. One representative asked me to consider the feelings of victims and I took that opportunity to describe how I, myself, was a victim to child sexual abuse from the age of 12 - 14. I went on to describe how I went to therapy and was able to get past my abuse, face my abuser and forgive him. I said, "I didn't have to spend the rest of my life as a victim and I don't think my husband should spend the rest of his life as a criminal."

Another representative suggested that because my husband's victim was 15 1/2, this new law would not affect me or my family. I then explained that as far as the ACIC (Arkansas Crime Information Center) is concerned, they believe her to be 14, so YES, this new law would affect me and my family.

Even if the law wouldn't affect me, that wouldn't have mattered to me. I was there to speak on the behalf of ALL registered sex offenders, not just my husband.

Regardless of the outcome, it felt GREAT to speak out against something. It felt like I was actually "doing something", my small part in this overwhelming battle to change the sex offender laws in this country. Afterwards, many people came up to me and thanked me for my testimony and I was even approached by a reporter from Channel 4 and another from the Democrat Gazette. I don't know if I'll hear from either one, but I gave them both my contact information.

FoxNews16 was there with a camera and yes, I am on their video: http://www.fox16.com/news/local/story/Committee-advances-tougher-sex-offender-rules/cJzimcDNekeAcvak8BWbJg.cspx.

You can see me, almost at the very end of the video, but my voice is silenced. :( Oh well! Again, no big surprise... Sigh! Still it's kinda cool ~ two seconds of my 15 minutes of fame, right?

I went up to and thanked the Chairman for the opportunity to speak against the bill. He said, and I quote, "This is a bad law, and I really don't see it making it to the floor." Maybe he knows something I don't, but that response surprised me.

After the session, Charlotte, Robert and I enjoyed touring the capitol building and I took several photos. Robert asked if he could treat us to lunch and we accepted. We left the building and went back to my car to leave, only to discover one of my tires was flat.

Without hesitation Robert removed his coat and changed my tire. What a gentleman! I told him he earned himself a free copy of my book. We then dropped the tire off at a local service station to be repaired while we went to lunch. We went to the Community Bakery and enjoyed a lovely lunch. Robert told us that the Community Bakery employs mostly ex offenders and donates their unsold food to local homeless shelters. I was VERY impressed! I will definitely make more of an effort to patronize them whenever I return to Little Rock.

When we returned to the service station to have the tire put back on the car, we were told that the tire was not repairable; that the puncture was on the side of the tire. I wound up having to take it to a Walmart in Little Rock to have it replaced since it was still under warranty from when I purchased new tires last summer.

Since I was in Little Rock much later than planned, I wound up having dinner with my other daughter, "Julia", which was a real treat! I was delighted that I was able to see both my older daughters yesterday. Julia had to work all day and was unable to go to the session with us. Maybe next time?

On the ride home, I went over the events of the day in my mind, and I got to contemplating about the flat tire. I had driven two hours to Little Rock and around town for quite some time before arriving at the capitol without any incident. Was that just a coincidence or did someone slash my tire? It is possible. I do know that there are a lot of people out there that do not like people like me and will go to great lengths to stop us.

I'm here to say that I am in this through to the very end!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

New Bills in Arkansas Legislation Targeting Sex Offenders

There are currently a number of bills being presented in Arkansas legislation targeting sex offenders.




The issue I have with this bill is charging sex offenders late fees for being late with their registration, but what if the offender is in the hospital or out of state on a family emergency or something? There should at least be a clause in there stating that the fees will be waived if the offender or the offender's family can show evidence that the offender was unable to register in time. Hey, things happen... What if his car is in the shop and there is no other means of transportation? What if he HAS TO WORK or risk losing his job?


This targets computer users, and if they have to have this restriction, then at the very least, perhaps this should ONLY apply to users who's crimes were computer related, and for a limited time (5 years maybe).




Oh boy, residency restrictions for more offenders! Arkansas already has a law prohibiting level 3 and level 4 offenders from residing within 2000 feet of any schools, public parks, youth centers or daycare centers.

Tomorrow (Monday, February 21, 2011) the Arkansas RSOL representative is scheduled to testify against 5 bills in the Senate Judiciary Committee and on Tuesday, a group of us are going to the House Judiciary Committee to participate in a toure-de-force of testifying against some truly damaging legislation.

We are asking anyone who is able to come join us in speaking up against these bills!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

AWA Hearing in D.C.

To all and anyone who donated funds for our SOSEN representatives to attend the AWA hearing in D.C. yesterday - THANK YOU!!!

I understand that the hearing did not fare well for sex offenders and their families, BUT at least there was representation from the other side, and that was important. Rome wasn't built in a day, and every step we make is another step towards progress.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

SOSEN needs your help NOW!

SOSEN needs your help!

Next week, there will be a hearing in D.C. on the Adam Walsh Act. It is critical that SOSEN has a presence at this hearing. Mary Duval, SOSEN's, CEO, has been approached by CNN to meet with them at the hearing. Mary has already secured lodging but still needs to raise funds to cover the air fare.

PLEASE, if you can help, send your donation via Paypal or by mail.

To send a donation via Paypal, please send it to: sosentreasurer@gmail.com

Please click on the "personal" tab and select the "gift" option, and no Paypal fees will be deducted from your donation.

To mail your donation, send it to:

c/o Mary Duval
P.O. Box 1128
Stilwell, Ok. 74960

Thank you!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Worst Day Ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever.

My brother in law, known as "Luke" in my book was driving to a job site in his car when he was killed in a 2-car accident.

The driver of the other vehicle was a first responder rushing to the site of another accident. He was passing another vehicle on a double yellow line on a blind hill and struck "Luke's" vehicle head on, killing him instantly. The driver was air lifted to a hospital and is listed in fair condition.

I just don't have words about the recklessness and irresponsibility of the other driver.

If you've read my book, then you'll remember that Luke was the driver of another accident thirty years and four months ago (to the date), in which John, my husband's and Luke's youngest brother, was killed instantly.

Now my hubby's parents have to bury another son. I cannot even begin to fathom what they are going through. I knew Luke quite well and I can tell you that he was a really special person. A lot like "Allen", my husband, he was very dedicated and loyal to his family. He was always funny, a cartoon character in motion. He loved to laugh and he loved to make others laugh. The stories he and Allen used to tell together were the most entertaining and funny stories I have ever heard. We are sure going to miss that!

Luke had exceptional respect for nature and enjoyed gardening and growing his own food. He enjoyed horseback riding with his wife and enjoyed our annual family camping trips every summer on the Buffalo. Allen and Luke were not only brothers, but they were the best of friends. My daughter, "Maddie," considered her Uncle Luke her favorite uncle. I absolutely do not know how my husband or his family are going to survive this. This was absolutely the Worst Day Ever...

And on the 25th anniversary of the Challenger disaster.... great...

Friday, January 21, 2011

How Hollywood Depicts Sex Offenders Part II

OK, I'm back on this topic.

This morning I read a post on the SOSEN member forum about an episode of Dexter. It was season 5, episode 5, and the writer of the post was upset about how the show portrayed sex offenders; that they're all gang rapist type people. The writer posted an article from the link below. Beware: SPOILER ALERT!!!


I was not provided the "spoiler alert", so I read the article (and admittedly, not sorry I did... spoiler aside). My hubby and I enjoy Dexter, but we are not yet into season 5. Oh well! Too late now, can't erase it from my head, now can I?

Where is that undo button???

Anytime a television show depicts sex offenders, the ratings go up and the blogs getting rolling. A blog that I read regularly posted their thoughts on the topic at: http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/2011/01/dexter-season-5-episode-5-first-blood.html.

Now here is my two cents.

As I said in my previous post about this topic, Hollywood downplays anyone committing a sexual offense, especially if that someone is the lead character in a TV show or movie. BUT, here is where we find Hollywood getting contradictory. Anytime a TV show or movie depicts someone (NEVER the lead character) who is already labeled as a "sex offender", that offender is usually depicted as a sick, perverted pedophile or predator. Rarely are those individuals depicted as "regular people" that could have good, loving families, or could have ordinary lives despite the ugly scarlet letter placed on them.

While offenders living under a bridge is a thing of the past, it DID happen, but honestly, that only represented a small percentage of the overall population of registered sex offenders in this country, which is well over 700,000 people. MOST of those people have spouses. Most have children. Most are just trying to get on with life after learning from a single terrible mistake that happened years ago.

In Season 3 of Dexter, I remember Dexter tracks down and kills a photographer who was a registered sex offender. The man had one offense years before. Dexter kills him because he SUSPECTS that the man has ill intentions when the man is seen photographing Dexter's young soon-to-be step-daughter. Perhaps the man had no intentions of bringing any harm whatsoever to the little girl, but because the man is a registered sex offender - and for that reason only - he is hunted down and killed.

If Dexter had seen a man who was photographing children and had discovered that the man had no criminal record of any kind, would he have hunted down and killed him? Certainly not. Doing that would have totally been outside of Dexter's and his dead father's "Code".

So, why do we continue to swallow the garbage that Hollywood throws out at us? Why is it OK for a lead character in a TV show like Californication to get away with committing a sexual offense and why is OK to always depict a (non-lead) "sex offender" character as a perverted pedophile or predator?

Both could have just as easily committed the exact same crime, but in one instance he is a "guy getting lucky" and in the other instance he is a "monster".

Don't you see the fallacy here, folks?

I sure do...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Great Show

I have received many wonderful emails from people who have listened to the show. I am so glad -- and so relieved -- it went so well! Although I was nervous, thankfully that really didn't show through my voice. My hands were shaking, though!

I really appreciate the opportunity given to me by Kevin and Mary of the ARC Radio Show. It was great to be able to able to talk about my book and to talk with listeners.

If you missed the show, you can still listen to it, as it is available here:


Just scroll down to Past Episodes, and you'll find it there!

Reviews of the book have been really terrific so far. One listener said on the radio show that he reads 2 to 3 books every week and that this was THE BEST book he's read in the last 2 or 3 years! Now THAT is a compliment, and that says a lot about the book.

If you have not read my book yet, you may be pleased to find that it is available on Amazon for $10.17 or less, if you wouldn't mind a used copy. If you spend $25 or more, you can get free super saver shipping. (Why not buy three copies??? hehehe!)

I also wanted to direct you to this awesome page set up on Amazon for other books of similar topics. Be sure to check it out:


I have read both Once Fallen and A Motion for Innocence, and both are great books. I have also seen The Woodsman, which was a terrific film.

Anyway, thank you to ALL who listened in Monday night, and thank you ALL who check in on my blog, and I especially appreciate the readers of my book. As I said on the show, my motto is, "When the message gets out there, these laws will change."

Let's get the message out there, folks! Please tell everyone you know about the book!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Guest Appearance on ARC tonight!

Quick announcement!

I will be tonight's guest on the American Reality Check radio show tonight at 6 p.m. EST. Tune in to:


to listen in!

This is my first radio appearance, so admittedly, I'm a wee bit nervous, but I am sure it will be fun. I'll try not to fumble my words too much. :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Launch Day

Hello all,

Today is the day my book, Consensual Consequences: A True Story of Life with a Registered Sex Offender is officially launched.

Please, if you have read the book, PLEASE post a review on Amazon:


You will likely need to have an Amazon account, although I am not sure. Click on the link right under the title/author name to leave a review.

Incidently, if you have not read it, Amazon has it available for $10.17, why, I don't know. When I asked my publisher about that, they didn't know why the price had been reduced from $14.95. Anyway, that's quite a savings out there, folks!

I really, REALLY appreciate any kind words you can leave about my book. If you didn't like it, please say nothing. LOL

Sunday, January 9, 2011

How Hollywood Depicts Sex Offenders

Recently, I began receiving the show, Californication, season three, via Netflix. I watched the first two seasons with interest because A) the character played by David Duchovny commits a sexual offense by sleeping with a 16 year old girl and B) I like David as an actor since I was a big fan of The X-Files.

In the first season, David's character, Hank Moody, discovers that the girl he's sleeping with is the 16 year old daughter of his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. Talk about a whoops. He hadn't known how old she was, and she hadn't bothered to tell him. Interestingly enough, the girl, Mia, played by Madeline Zima, bears a striking resemblance to my husband's "victim", known as Cassandra, in my book.

As the series progressed, it appeared that Hank was going to get away with his crime, and I began to lose some interest in the show. As I delved into season three, I became even less interested and thought to myself that I would stop watching the show after the third season ended; that I wouldn't put season four in my queue.

Last night, I watched the season finale of season three.

Well, NOW I've changed my mind!

*Spoiler alert, in case you have not seen it*

In this season ender, the shit looks like it's going to hit the proverbial fan as Mia returns with her agent who knows the truth about her and Hank's relationship. He and Hank wind up in a fist fight and and then Hank has to go tell his ex girlfriend about Mia and they have a big fight. Then, law enforcement shows up and he is hauled off in a police cruiser, presumably arrested for his assault on the agent - or could it be for his sexual crime? Or both?

We won't know until season four.

I have to admit, I am skeptical that he'll get anything more than a slap on the wrist. He might spend a night in jail, and get off scott-free without having to register as a sex offender for life. Judging from the cover art on the not-yet-released season four DVD set, Hank is depicted sitting in a comfy chair while his family and Mia stand around him. He is not depicted in a jail cell - which is where he would be in the real world. In the episode I just watched, Mia says she would never press charges, but in the real world, she wouldn't have to. When it comes to any sexual activity with an underage person, proof is not at all necessary to convict, and neither is truth. Many people are incarcerated simply because they were acused of something they didn't do.

I have seen countless depictions of people committing sexual crimes in movies and on TV shows and have yet to see anything even closely resembling the way it really is in the real world today, as they rarely get into any kind of real trouble for it. How many times have we watched a Hank Moody seduce or be seduced by a sexually active teen? As viewers, what do we think? Do we think, "Hey! This guy should be arrested, he's a horrible perverted predatory pedophile!" Nah, the liklihood is that we as viewers think, "Hey, dang, he's getting lucky!"

At least that's clearly what Holllywood thinks, as the message is clear that they think it's a perfectly normal and natural thing to do, and that you won't get into any real trouble for it.

No wonder people get so blind-sided when they find themselves in a whole heap of real trouble for doing the same things. They just have no idea until after the fact, and the real consequences come to light.

Law enforcement and the judicial system says "there is no excuse for ignorance of the law". Well, I say, TELL us what the law is - in every detail - so that we aren't ignorant of it!

A good place to start would be Hollywood.