A Rose by Any other Name

This post is primarily in response to Rosie (http://www.memoirofaredemptivelife.com/2012/05/receiving-threats-on-my-blog.html#more).  Rather than clogging up her comment section, I decided to post my final response here.  The YouTube video Rosie made in response to the Paula Gloria show where Derek Logue, Ken Kish and myself were guests, has been pulled or set to private.  In the video, Rosie made comments referring to both Derek and Ken as pedophiles.  She barely even mentioned me because I didn't fit the profile she was trying to expose.  Her statements about Derek and Ken were quite derogatory and advocates in our movement began to respond to Rosie with similar retaliation.  While I don't think it does anyone any good to retaliate the way my fellow advocates have done, I can understand why they did.  When you publicly attack someone with a YouTube video, you shouldn't be surprised if you get back what you dish out.

In my response to her blog post, I brought to light how she failed to mention me.  It wasn't that I was looking for attention, but I was upset that she stated in one of her responses to a comment, and I quote: "I just don't think that pedophiles should be heading the movement."  I wanted to let her know that she is wrong in that statement, that there are many non-RSO's heading up the movement and as far as I know, NONE of our advocates are "pedophiles".  In fact, I know of several non-RSO's and even VICTIMS who are advocates.  Rosie responds in another post:

"Do you have data on how many victims/survivors of sexual abuse at the hands of someone on the registry are involved in the movement to abolish the SOR? I do know of cases with the Romeo and Juliette situation where this occurs, but I am asking about a child under the age of consent that was sexually abused by an adult over the age of 18 and at least 5 years older then the sexual offender? Are Ken, Derek or your husbands victims/survivors involved with the movement to abolish the registry?"

Many of our advocates are the very type Rosie is describing, including myself.  I was a victim of child sexual abuse to a family member from the age of 13 - 15.  After the abuse ended, I set out on my own to find older men to seduce and trust me when I tell you I succeeded.  Not once did I receive a refusal from an older man because of my age.  I grew up in Florida where the age of consent is 18.  For three years I basically CREATED sex offenders (unknowingly, of course).  If I had known what kind of trouble I could have caused for those men, I would have certainly not pursued them.  During those three years of sexual activity, I was never once forced or groomed or anything.  I sought these men out and I willingly engaged in sexual activity with them.  If you want to stick your head in the sand and think young girls aren't doing this, then go ahead, but I KNOW it happens, and by the way the laws are set up, every time this happens, these sexually active girls are considered VICTIMS and the men they seduce are considered criminals.  I say bull----!  Age is irrelevant.  One of the men I seduced was 25 years older than me.  He was no more a criminal in my mind then the guys that were the same age as me.  So, when Rosie says there aren't any victims out there advocating for reform, she is very badly mistaken.  Many of our advocates work from behind the scenes.  MOST of our advocates do.  Most of them don't want to stick their necks out and for good reason.  Rosie is just but one vigilante out there that would seek to cause harm by exposing people.  The "victims" we have in our advocacy groups know this.

Rosie wanted to know what my hubby's victim would say?  Well, funny she should ask because recently my hubby's victim and I have been messaging each other on Facebook and although she wants to be left alone to live her life, she had this to say: 

(I blocked out names and places to protect her identity)

Does my hubby's victim sound like a victim?  I will let you, the Reader, decide.

In Rosie's blog post she says:

"There is no known cure for pedophilia. I know the theory that most offenders are first time offenders and not on the registry. This doesn't mean they didn't offend it means they hadn't gotten caught yet. Most pedophiles offend between 100 to 400 times before they are caught."

I responded with, "And where do you get that pedophiles cannot be cured or that they each have hundreds of victims? Where are your facts?"  In response to that, Rosie posted info from the DSM IV on Pedophilia which neither says there is no cure or that pedophiles each have hundreds of victims.  In fact, the info doesn't even dispute the definition of pedophilia as shown on Wikipedia:

As a medical diagnosis, pedophilia, or paedophilia, is defined as a psychiatric disorder in adults or late adolescents (persons age 16 or older) typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children (generally age 13 years or younger, though onset of puberty may vary). The prepubescent child must be at least five years younger than the adolescent before the attraction can be diagnosed as pedophilia.

What the definition says is that pedophilia must be medically diagnosed.  One cannot just ASSUME someone is a pedophile just because they engage in sexual activity with an underage person.  Rosie made the assumption that both Derek and Ken are pedophiles.  Dr. Drew made the assumption that I was married to a pedophile.  Using the word "pedophile" about someone when there is no medical diagnosis of pedophilia is grossly incorrect and defamatory.  Personally, I consider the word derogatory, just like the N word is a derogatory term for an African American and the F----t word is a derogatory term for a gay man.  When people like Dr. Drew and Rosie use the term "pedophile" about anyone with a sex crime against an underage person, they lose credibility in my book.  If Rosie wants to be taken seriously in her work to protect children against sexual abuse, all I am suggesting is that she use politically correct words when she is posting information about people.  What Rosie did with that video was in very poor taste and I'm not surprised at the backlash she received.  Such a shame, really, because I have always had a lot of respect for Rosie and how she has handled herself on the web, that video really surprised me, coming from her.  At least Rosie is open-minded enough to say that the sex offender registry needs to be reformed, which is more than I can say for so many other vigilantes out there.  I do hope that Rosie will at least consider an apology to both Derek and Ken, neither of which are pedophiles.  I feel that they both deserve an apology.