Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Remembering Mary Duval

Hello all,

I just returned from a week-long trip out of state visiting family and exhbibiting at an fine art show.  I had limited time for the computer so I was basically off-line for the duration.  Before I left, I learned that Mary Duval had slipped into a coma in a hospital in California where she had been hospitalized for several weeks due to complications of her cancer treatments.

On Saturday, June 18, Mary passed away.

I am completely devastated over this and am worried for Mary's family.  There has been a bank account set up for her family to cover funeral costs and I just sent in a donation via Paypal.  I urge you to do the same.  Visit the http://www.sosen.org/ website and click on the donate button for Paypal on the right side of the page.  You can specify that the donation is for Mary's family.

You can also mail a check to:

Deloris Logan

765 Mesa View Drive
Space 24
Arroyo Grande, Ca.  93240

Mary was an incredible woman and I am SOOOOO glad I got a chance to meet her a few months ago, on St. Patrick's Day.  I feel so fortunate that I seized that particular opportunity to meet her, even though I had a very full plate that day, I remember.  I dropped everything and off I went and spent a couple hours visiting with her and her little doggies.  Of course, I had no way of knowing I would never see her again, and I will never forget that day.

I have been on staff with SOSEN for the last few years and have been producing the quarterly newsletter for about a year and a half now.  Mary always helped with the newsletters, so I will miss that, but as with anything else, we must move on.  SOSEN will move on, too.  I was nominated to serve as the new CEO of SOSEN and I am very honored to accept that nomination.  We'll give it six months and see how it goes.  It may become permanent if it all goes well.  To be honest, I hope it does.  I have never been a leader of anything, but I feel ready for this.  SOSEN is a part of me now, as much as a part of me as my right arm or my left leg.  Although I have huge shoes to fill, I will do my darnedest to do my part.  It is very important to me and I take this very seriously.

But for now, for today, I have to get ready for our five day "friends and family camping trip", which we leave for tomorrow.  We always go camping every summer  on the Buffalo River and my brother-in-law, known as "Luke" in my book, always camped with us.  This year our group will be larger than usual as many friends and family are joining us to celebrate in Luke's memory.  Everyone attending knows about my book, my life as "Lynn Gilmore" and my involvement with SOSEN.  All of them are supportive and have been encouraging to me.  This year, not only will we be celebrating in Luke's memory, but I will be adding Mary to that memorial as well.

Upon my return, I will have a lot to do.  I have an order to fill (from the art show I just did), some graphic design projects to do, the next newsletter to start on, and above all, start working as CEO of SOSEN.  I hope I can do a good job.  I am doing this for the family of SOSEN.  I am doing this for my own family and I am doing this for Mary.

I will always remember Mary and what she has done for all registered sex offenders.  She was an amazing woman and a very good friend.  She will be sorely missed.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A Meeting of the Minds...

On Wednesday of this week, I attended a meeting near Clinton, Arkansas.  The meeting was attended by my good friend Robert and three nice ladies.  All of us are connected by a common thread--we are each affected by the sex offender laws.

If you are affected by these laws and haven't had a chance yet to meet anyone else in your situation, then I would highly recommend it.  It is very therapeutic to be able to talk openly about the problems you face and brainstorm ideas on how to make it better.

After the meeting I was so tempted to write up letters and mail them to offenders in my area to maybe see about starting up a group here.  While Clinton is not THAT far to drive, it certainly is not in my "neck of the woods".  I had to really consider the expense in gas making the four and a half hour round trip drive.

Life on the Mountain being what it is and all, I have not had time to compose such letters and even if I did, how many would really be interested?  One of the many problems this movement faces is the fact that most registered sex offenders are too embarrassed or too fearful of vigilantism to get out and show their faces and step into the spotlight.  And, let's not forget that for many, it is against the law to socialize with other felons.  THAT is perhaps the biggest problem of all.

There is no law (as of yet) that forbids ME or other family members from socializing with each other or their sex offenders, so I urge those of you who are collaterally affected by these laws to get out there and meet others in your situation.

One good place to start would be the RSOL (Reform Sex Offender Laws) Conference in St. Louis, MO, August 12th - 14th.  Here's a link:  https://sites.google.com/site/rsolnationalconference/

Almost all of us from the Clinton meeting are attending and I am greatly looking forward to it.  There are going to be some great workshops and I hope to learn many new ways to interract with lawmakers.  I have also inquired about doing a book signing--why not?

It is a very inexpensive conference to attend and the hotel accommodations can be split between you and a roommate.  Carpool and you'll save even more money!  :)

At the meeting, Robert passed out a copy of "If" by Rudyard Kipling that I thought I might share with you all here...  Robert said the poem gave him a lot of strength and courage while he was incarcerated:

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Great Review! Yay!

Today I found out about two great things:

1) My book is now available for Kindle on Amazon, for $9.99.  This is great!  I was wondering how to put up a version for Kindle, and my publisher went and did it for me.   I have such a wonderful publisher!

2) I found this really GREAT review of my book:

http://www.readerviews.com/ReviewGilmoreConsensualConsequences.html

This is clearly written by someone who is NOT a registered sex offender or is NOT a family member of a registered sex offender.  This is just what I have been waiting for.  Most of the reviews on Amazon have, admittedly, been made by people who were familiar with how the sex offender laws affect offenders and their families already before reading my book.  It is not hard to convince those who have already been convinced.

My goal with the book has always been to educate readers who know nothing about how ineffective the sex offender laws are and show them why they should change their views on the subject.  It seems I have managed to accomplish that goal with this reviewer -- and if I can do that with one person, I can do that with many.

I get emails every week from readers thanking me for standing up and getting my story out there, and I am grateful to them for sharing their feelings with me but I gotta say:  Getting that review REALLY convinced me that I absolutely did the right thing, without a shadow of a doubt.

This whole experience has been like nothing I've ever experienced before, and telling my story has been so incredibly rewarding....  Wow.... just... WOW!

Thank you, Marissa Libbit, for your terrific review...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

SOSEN Spring 2011 Newsletter

Today I finally finished up the SOSEN Spring 2011 newsletter and it is available for download.  My good friends at Sex Offender Issues put it up on their blog so that even if you don't have a SOSEN forum membership, you can still download it.  Boy, are those guys terrific!

http://sexoffenderissues.blogspot.com/2011/04/sosen-spring-2011-newsletter-mark.html#disqus_thread

Now that the newsletter is done, I have to start working on another big project working on a magazine.  I won't say what magazine because it's non-sex-offender related and if I say what, then you'll know who.  It would be too easy to find the "real me".  Oh no, can't have that!

My last post here was just before I was leaving for Florida and I was shipping out eight copies of my book to Arkansas legislators.  Vacation went well - very well, actually - and when I returned, I heard that the HB1408 bill did NOT pass.  I'm not sure if my involvement had anything at all to do with the bill not passing, but I'd like to think it helped.  Not one of the legislators has bothered to email me to let me know they received the book or if they liked it or if they hated it or if they drove their truck over it.  That's OK, I don't need to know...

Since my return, I have been busy with a multitude of projects, the least of which has been promoting my book which I confess I have failed at miserably these last several weeks, and as such, the book has slipped into a black hole of ratings on Amazon.  I know it's time I pulled it up by the bootstraps and gave it a dusting off to see if I can rejuvenate it again...

I did get accepted into not one, but two, big arts and crafts shows this summer, much to my surprise.  In previous years I have been rejected time and again - not because my work wasn't good enough - but because my jury slides weren't good enough.  Last year I made it my mission to revamp my booth and my photos and whah-lah!  It worked like a charm.  As a result of this fine good news, I've had to put more focus into creating more inventory of my art.  Yay.

Other than that, yard work and spring cleaning have eaten up whatever remaining time I had left and *poof* a month went by without so much as a whimper from me here...

Such is life.

Before I go, I did want to mention a fantastic blog I discovered a few days ago.  Check this guy out:

http://monstermartorg.blogspot.com/
What a well-written and entertaining blog!  Wow!  I just love it!

Oh!  And I did meet Mary.  She's a real firecracker, that one!  She has more chutzpah than just about anyone I know.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Eight is Enough

Well, my one last shot came and went.  I attended the senate juidiciary committee meeting this morning, accompanied by my good friend Robert... and later, Biker Bob, and we waited--and waded--through what was an unsually boring session.  Bills were presented, argued, pulled or passed without much fanfare.  Maybe it wasn't so much really boring as it was that I just wasn't all that interested in it, although, I will say that Senator Flowers is a very outspoken and very common sensical person.  She can cast a lightly humorous spin on something and yet she presents herself and her views very candidly, accurately and openly.  In the times that I have attended these sessions, I've heard her speak against several bills and every time she has impressed me with her knowledge and approach.

HB1408 was NOT presented and not passed today.  I can't say that I'm all that surprised.  I am beginning to understand how the system works and I'm not certain, but I have a feeling I know why it wasn't presented today.  There were only five members of the committee present and when a bill is voted on, there must be five votes in favor of it.  That means that every member present would have to vote yes to pass a bill.

At one point and time today, a bill was presented that Senator Flowers expressed her opinion that the bill should not be passed.  When it came time for a vote, she matter-of-factly looked at the chairperson and said something to the effect of "why bother?  I'm not going to vote for it, so it's not going to pass."  It was comical really, because the chairperson still wanted to have the vote.  Of course, the bill was rejected and we moved on.

It occurred to me that the presenter of HB1408 would have been foolish to present the bill today, because it seems likely that Senator Flowers would have shot it down -- or at least Robert, Bob and I would hope so--and the bill would surely have failed.  Once I realized that, I realized there was really no point in my sticking around for the afternoon session, so I left.

Due to prior engagements, it will be April 4 before I can attend another session.  Concerned that I would miss out on an opportunity to speak against this bill, I decided to send a letter (by mail) to each of the eight senators, along with educational material from SOSEN and a free copy of my book.  I don't know if any of them would like a copy of my book, but they're getting one anyway...

I am shipping out all eight books tomorrow.  If YOU happen to be one of those lucky senators, keep an eye out for your mail delivery person.  Surprise!  Hope you like it...

I don't even want to think about the cost of eight books plus shipping, but my good friend Robert was very gracious and generously gave me $60 to cover some of the expenses.  That was very kind of him to do that...  Thank you, Robert...

I could be depressed about the fact that I made an umpteen number of trips back and forth to Little Rock for the past couple months --all for nothing, but I'm not.  I am simply moving on...  Oh, if I come back on April 4 and find that the bill is still not presented, I'll pick up where I left off, I'm sure...  But, I'd be surprised if the bill lasted that long...

Meanwhile, I do have some good news:  I am going to be meeting with my good friend Mary Duval tomorrow morning for the first time.  I wrote about Mary in my book; about her family's struggles with her teenage son's conviction and subsequent endless punishments...  I can't believe we haven't met before now, but we'll just happen to be in the same towm at the same time tomorrow, and I couldn't pass up the chance to meet her.

Mary's my hero, ya know!

I love ya, girl!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

One Last Shot

HB1408 has STILL not yet been presented before the Arkansas Senate Judiciary Committee.  Meanwhile, the agenda continues to grow and grow.  The agenda for tomorrow's session has 86 bills waiting to be presented and nine of them are targeting sex offenders.  Some of the other bills other than HB1408 have already been presented and passed.  To my knowledge, not one bill targeting sex offenders has been presented and has been rejected.

Tomorrow is my last ditch effort to speak out agains the bill before April 4.  If they present it between next Monday and the 4th of April, I will not be present to speak out against it, and neither will my good friend Robert.  I'm afraid that this bill may be passed without someone there on the behalf of sex offenders and their families to speak out against it.  Robert and I are both traveling to different states in the next two weeks.  I am taking the kids to Florida to visit my family (once again sans husband due to Florida's exceptionally strict registration requirements...) and Robert is going to visit family in Oklahoma.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the HB1408 bill gets presented TOMORROW.  My toes, too.

It is hard to be a lone figure in the fight against the sex offender laws in Arkansas.  Actually, I'm not alone, thank goodness there's Robert and another fellow, "Biker Bob".  Biker Bob is a really nice guy, very likeable and much more outgoing than my little meek self.  He, like Robert, is not afraid to approach lawmakers and other visitors to the Capitol while I still can't seem to crack out of my shell.  I'll get there though...  Let me tell you ~ I've come a loooooong way in overcoming my fear of speaking (I'm still afraid) and my shyness (I'm still shy) and I'm a lot better than I used to be.  Still have far to go, though...  I'm no Robert or Biker Bob....

But, boy, can I write!  :)  Not afraid to do that, at all.  I don't care if I write well or not.  I don't use big words.  I just find that writing is an excellent way to express myself and I am just grateful to at least be able to put a few thoughts into sentences and paragraphs.  Oh, but I digress... sorry...

It is hard, though, like I said, to stand alone ~ we three ~ and speak out against these laws.  I so wish that there could be a group that could stand up in the halls of justice and demand that these laws be changed.  I know, that there must be hundreds if not thousands of Arkansans who want the laws to change, but they are too afraid to get out there and show their faces.  I don't blame them.  It is hard enough for me, and I hide behind a fake name and under a wig.

Maybe someday.... someday we can stand up for our rights and protest with picket signs outside the capitol building.  The time is coming, you will see.  The question is, do you want it to come sooner or do you want it to come later?  If you're tired of the way these laws affect you and your loved ones' lives, then it's time.  Put aside your fears, don your wigs and create a fake identity for yourself and join us!  Whatever you have to do to get your voices heard, do it!  Don't wait until it's too late.  We need you, now...

We sooooo need you... now....

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Back to the Capitol AGAIN

Tomorrow, I will once again travel the roughly 240 miles round trip to the state capitol building to once again attend the Senate Judiciary Committee's meeting.  This will be the third time I have attended their meeting in hopes that the HB1408 bill would be presented, along with many other bills targeting sex offenders on the agenda.

For the past two sessions, the representatives who would be presenting these bills were not in attendance and therefore the bills could not be presented.  I noticed, both times, that there were many people in the audience that were from law offices, various sheriff's offices and representatives from the ACIC.  It astounds me that the representatives who obviously felt it was important enough to draft up these bills just couldn't find the time to be there when it came time to present them.  Perhaps they are aware that so many people wish to speak against these bills and maybe they're hoping that if they keep missing the meetings, that people will lose interest themselves and stop coming.  I don't know.  That is merely speculation on my part and I'm not accusing anyone of anything.  These are simply my own personal observations and admittedly, I am learning as I go, how things operate at the capitol building.

Yesterday, upon leaving the capitol building after the senate judiciary committee meeting was adjourned without much accomplished, I was walking behind two of the legislators who were busily patting each other on the back, congratulating each other on a "good day" at the capitol and all I wanted to do was run up and smack them across the face. Of course, I didn't, but I wanted to.

Truthfully, if this is how things are done in our country's legislative sessions, I am totally embarrassed on behalf of the U.S. No WONDER I've never wanted to involve myself in politics, I guess I always inherently knew that our legal system was pretty much corrupt and basically a joke. As a child, I grew up listening to my folks' sordid portrayal of our judicial system. They knew, even back then, how incompetently things were done.

Anyway, as I look over the ever-growing senate judiciary committee agenda, I see more and more bills being added on a daily basis. Now we have:

HB1243: TO PROVIDE FOR AN ADMINISTRATIVE SEX OFFENDER ADDRESS LATE VERIFICATION FEE.
SB320: AN ACT TO REMOVE THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS ON SEXUAL OFFENSES.
SB327: AN ACT TO PROHIBIT EXPOSING A CHILD TO RECORDED OR PRINTED PORTRAYALS OF SEX ACTS.
SB329: AN ACT TO INCLUDE SCHOOL PRINCIPALS, ATHLETIC COACHES, AND COUNSELORS AMONG PERSONS WHO ARE GUILTY OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THE SECOND DEGREE FOR SEXUAL CONTACT WITH A STUDENT LESS THAN TWENTY-ONE (21) YEARS OF AGE.
HB1015: TO MANDATE AN ADDITIONAL FINE FOR ANY PERSON CONVICTED OF A FELONY SEX OFFENSE.
HB1406: TO AMEND THE PROCEDURES FOR AN ADMINISTRATIVE APPEAL OF A SEX OFFENDER ASSESSMENT OF A SEXUALLY VIOLENT PREDATOR.
HB1408: TO PROHIBIT LEVEL 2 SEX OFFENDERS FROM LIVING WITHIN TWO THOUSAND FEET FROM A SCHOOL, PUBLIC PARK, YOUTH CENTER, OR DAYCARE.
SB741: AN ACT TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM OF "SEXTING" AND TO CREATE THE OFFENSES OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION DEVICE STALKING OF A CHILD AND COMMUNICATING IMPROPERLY USING A WIRELESS DEVICE WITH A MINOR.
HB1368: CONCERNING VISITATION RIGHTS WITH A MINOR CHILD FOR A PARENT LISTED ON THE SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY.
SB810: CONCERNING THE REGISTRATION OF SEX OFFENDERS; TO REQUIRE REGISTRATION PAYMENTS TO BE MADE.

There are a grand total of 69 bills awaiting presentation on tomorrow's agenda, with two set as deferred bills. I'll actually be surprised if they present even just five of them tomorrow.

So, my car is gassed up... again. Each trip to Little Rock costs me roughly $50 in gas, and that doesn't include lunch (or in yesterday's case, dinner, too). I am not made of money. If I don't get paid for my next freelance job soon, I'll have to quit going and believe me when I tell you: I don't wanna quit going.

I need to stand up and speak up against HB1408. If not for me, my husband, and all the other registered sex offenders out there, but for the sake of my daughter.

'Nuff said.