Saturday, January 29, 2011

Worst Day Ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever.

My brother in law, known as "Luke" in my book was driving to a job site in his car when he was killed in a 2-car accident.

The driver of the other vehicle was a first responder rushing to the site of another accident. He was passing another vehicle on a double yellow line on a blind hill and struck "Luke's" vehicle head on, killing him instantly. The driver was air lifted to a hospital and is listed in fair condition.

I just don't have words about the recklessness and irresponsibility of the other driver.

If you've read my book, then you'll remember that Luke was the driver of another accident thirty years and four months ago (to the date), in which John, my husband's and Luke's youngest brother, was killed instantly.

Now my hubby's parents have to bury another son. I cannot even begin to fathom what they are going through. I knew Luke quite well and I can tell you that he was a really special person. A lot like "Allen", my husband, he was very dedicated and loyal to his family. He was always funny, a cartoon character in motion. He loved to laugh and he loved to make others laugh. The stories he and Allen used to tell together were the most entertaining and funny stories I have ever heard. We are sure going to miss that!

Luke had exceptional respect for nature and enjoyed gardening and growing his own food. He enjoyed horseback riding with his wife and enjoyed our annual family camping trips every summer on the Buffalo. Allen and Luke were not only brothers, but they were the best of friends. My daughter, "Maddie," considered her Uncle Luke her favorite uncle. I absolutely do not know how my husband or his family are going to survive this. This was absolutely the Worst Day Ever...

And on the 25th anniversary of the Challenger disaster.... great...

Friday, January 21, 2011

How Hollywood Depicts Sex Offenders Part II

OK, I'm back on this topic.

This morning I read a post on the SOSEN member forum about an episode of Dexter. It was season 5, episode 5, and the writer of the post was upset about how the show portrayed sex offenders; that they're all gang rapist type people. The writer posted an article from the link below. Beware: SPOILER ALERT!!!

I was not provided the "spoiler alert", so I read the article (and admittedly, not sorry I did... spoiler aside). My hubby and I enjoy Dexter, but we are not yet into season 5. Oh well! Too late now, can't erase it from my head, now can I?

Where is that undo button???

Anytime a television show depicts sex offenders, the ratings go up and the blogs getting rolling. A blog that I read regularly posted their thoughts on the topic at:

Now here is my two cents.

As I said in my previous post about this topic, Hollywood downplays anyone committing a sexual offense, especially if that someone is the lead character in a TV show or movie. BUT, here is where we find Hollywood getting contradictory. Anytime a TV show or movie depicts someone (NEVER the lead character) who is already labeled as a "sex offender", that offender is usually depicted as a sick, perverted pedophile or predator. Rarely are those individuals depicted as "regular people" that could have good, loving families, or could have ordinary lives despite the ugly scarlet letter placed on them.

While offenders living under a bridge is a thing of the past, it DID happen, but honestly, that only represented a small percentage of the overall population of registered sex offenders in this country, which is well over 700,000 people. MOST of those people have spouses. Most have children. Most are just trying to get on with life after learning from a single terrible mistake that happened years ago.

In Season 3 of Dexter, I remember Dexter tracks down and kills a photographer who was a registered sex offender. The man had one offense years before. Dexter kills him because he SUSPECTS that the man has ill intentions when the man is seen photographing Dexter's young soon-to-be step-daughter. Perhaps the man had no intentions of bringing any harm whatsoever to the little girl, but because the man is a registered sex offender - and for that reason only - he is hunted down and killed.

If Dexter had seen a man who was photographing children and had discovered that the man had no criminal record of any kind, would he have hunted down and killed him? Certainly not. Doing that would have totally been outside of Dexter's and his dead father's "Code".

So, why do we continue to swallow the garbage that Hollywood throws out at us? Why is it OK for a lead character in a TV show like Californication to get away with committing a sexual offense and why is OK to always depict a (non-lead) "sex offender" character as a perverted pedophile or predator?

Both could have just as easily committed the exact same crime, but in one instance he is a "guy getting lucky" and in the other instance he is a "monster".

Don't you see the fallacy here, folks?

I sure do...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A Great Show

I have received many wonderful emails from people who have listened to the show. I am so glad -- and so relieved -- it went so well! Although I was nervous, thankfully that really didn't show through my voice. My hands were shaking, though!

I really appreciate the opportunity given to me by Kevin and Mary of the ARC Radio Show. It was great to be able to able to talk about my book and to talk with listeners.

If you missed the show, you can still listen to it, as it is available here:

Just scroll down to Past Episodes, and you'll find it there!

Reviews of the book have been really terrific so far. One listener said on the radio show that he reads 2 to 3 books every week and that this was THE BEST book he's read in the last 2 or 3 years! Now THAT is a compliment, and that says a lot about the book.

If you have not read my book yet, you may be pleased to find that it is available on Amazon for $10.17 or less, if you wouldn't mind a used copy. If you spend $25 or more, you can get free super saver shipping. (Why not buy three copies??? hehehe!)

I also wanted to direct you to this awesome page set up on Amazon for other books of similar topics. Be sure to check it out:

I have read both Once Fallen and A Motion for Innocence, and both are great books. I have also seen The Woodsman, which was a terrific film.

Anyway, thank you to ALL who listened in Monday night, and thank you ALL who check in on my blog, and I especially appreciate the readers of my book. As I said on the show, my motto is, "When the message gets out there, these laws will change."

Let's get the message out there, folks! Please tell everyone you know about the book!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Guest Appearance on ARC tonight!

Quick announcement!

I will be tonight's guest on the American Reality Check radio show tonight at 6 p.m. EST. Tune in to:

to listen in!

This is my first radio appearance, so admittedly, I'm a wee bit nervous, but I am sure it will be fun. I'll try not to fumble my words too much. :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Launch Day

Hello all,

Today is the day my book, Consensual Consequences: A True Story of Life with a Registered Sex Offender is officially launched.

Please, if you have read the book, PLEASE post a review on Amazon:

You will likely need to have an Amazon account, although I am not sure. Click on the link right under the title/author name to leave a review.

Incidently, if you have not read it, Amazon has it available for $10.17, why, I don't know. When I asked my publisher about that, they didn't know why the price had been reduced from $14.95. Anyway, that's quite a savings out there, folks!

I really, REALLY appreciate any kind words you can leave about my book. If you didn't like it, please say nothing. LOL

Sunday, January 9, 2011

How Hollywood Depicts Sex Offenders

Recently, I began receiving the show, Californication, season three, via Netflix. I watched the first two seasons with interest because A) the character played by David Duchovny commits a sexual offense by sleeping with a 16 year old girl and B) I like David as an actor since I was a big fan of The X-Files.

In the first season, David's character, Hank Moody, discovers that the girl he's sleeping with is the 16 year old daughter of his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. Talk about a whoops. He hadn't known how old she was, and she hadn't bothered to tell him. Interestingly enough, the girl, Mia, played by Madeline Zima, bears a striking resemblance to my husband's "victim", known as Cassandra, in my book.

As the series progressed, it appeared that Hank was going to get away with his crime, and I began to lose some interest in the show. As I delved into season three, I became even less interested and thought to myself that I would stop watching the show after the third season ended; that I wouldn't put season four in my queue.

Last night, I watched the season finale of season three.

Well, NOW I've changed my mind!

*Spoiler alert, in case you have not seen it*

In this season ender, the shit looks like it's going to hit the proverbial fan as Mia returns with her agent who knows the truth about her and Hank's relationship. He and Hank wind up in a fist fight and and then Hank has to go tell his ex girlfriend about Mia and they have a big fight. Then, law enforcement shows up and he is hauled off in a police cruiser, presumably arrested for his assault on the agent - or could it be for his sexual crime? Or both?

We won't know until season four.

I have to admit, I am skeptical that he'll get anything more than a slap on the wrist. He might spend a night in jail, and get off scott-free without having to register as a sex offender for life. Judging from the cover art on the not-yet-released season four DVD set, Hank is depicted sitting in a comfy chair while his family and Mia stand around him. He is not depicted in a jail cell - which is where he would be in the real world. In the episode I just watched, Mia says she would never press charges, but in the real world, she wouldn't have to. When it comes to any sexual activity with an underage person, proof is not at all necessary to convict, and neither is truth. Many people are incarcerated simply because they were acused of something they didn't do.

I have seen countless depictions of people committing sexual crimes in movies and on TV shows and have yet to see anything even closely resembling the way it really is in the real world today, as they rarely get into any kind of real trouble for it. How many times have we watched a Hank Moody seduce or be seduced by a sexually active teen? As viewers, what do we think? Do we think, "Hey! This guy should be arrested, he's a horrible perverted predatory pedophile!" Nah, the liklihood is that we as viewers think, "Hey, dang, he's getting lucky!"

At least that's clearly what Holllywood thinks, as the message is clear that they think it's a perfectly normal and natural thing to do, and that you won't get into any real trouble for it.

No wonder people get so blind-sided when they find themselves in a whole heap of real trouble for doing the same things. They just have no idea until after the fact, and the real consequences come to light.

Law enforcement and the judicial system says "there is no excuse for ignorance of the law". Well, I say, TELL us what the law is - in every detail - so that we aren't ignorant of it!

A good place to start would be Hollywood.